Their Troublesome Crush: A Review

Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disable queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, while planning their dominant’s birthday party and trying to do a really good job.

Their Troublesome Crush Review

I fell in love with Their Troublesome Crush when I saw the cover art. It depicted beautiful art and colors that caught the eye in general but seeing a romance novel that proudly showed not just one but two fat characters, right there on the cover! I squealed in delight and didn’t care who saw me wiggling with happiness. At that point I absolutely had to read this story.

What’s really cool is the author, Xan West, interviewed the artist, Hannah Aroni. It was fabulous to see inside her head a little regarding a cover that will probably be in my top 3 for a very long time.

The Author: Xan West

Xan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat white Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter.
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing on this site. Xan also occasionally blogs at other places on the web.

This is not my first Xan West story. I reviewed Best Lesbian Erotica 2019 and their story “Trying Submission” was excellent. Very much worthy of making them a finalist in the John Preston Short Fiction award. You can read my review of that particular story and book (and click through to order your own copy) here.

What I love about West’s books is also the lessons I receive about writing. I am inspired to make my own writing better when I read their work. Just the inclusion of content warnings, cover descriptions for readers that have difficulty seeing, and how they write diversity across the board gets my writer gears turning.

What Did I LOVE About The Book

From the very beginning, I was attracted to the main characters. Ernest is adorable and sweet. I’d have tea with him any day. Nora is sweet switch I am totally digging and I wish I’d met people like this in my early days of BDSM exploration. Even the side characters give me all the warm and fuzzies in their loving care for each other and the main characters.

Unafraid of Fat and Disability

There is a scene in the story where Ernest visits Nora’s home. The space and Nora in it are described beautifully, especially regarding her size. Nora becomes bigger, fatter, more relaxed in her space. The room and furnishings are chosen and arranged to accommodate her size and her mobility issues. Ernest takes all this in, the details are given to the reader unflinchingly without being grotesque. Its how I wish other fat and disabled characters in other books were portrayed – described with love.

Nurturing Care and Access Intimacy

Access Intimacy and Care are what really shine in Their Troublesome Crush that I’ve yet to see in many romances. Not only does West take care to write very real and diverse characters with a variety of needs BUT they also write characters that take care of each other with their needs in mind. My heart grew three sizes when Ernest makes food with their dietary needs in mind.

I’m gonna veer off subject for just a second but one of the first things that endeared this book to me was the very beginning scene when Ernest is trying to decide about ordering cupcakes knowing Nora is diabetic. He can’t decide if ordering the variety of sweet treats would be putting her out or if not ordering them would be stepping on her own autonomy in making decisions about what she can and cannot eat. I nearly cried. I’ve had friends, dates, and family make decisions for me “for my own good” regarding food (I’m not diabetic but this was done regarding other things like my weight and lactose intolerance). Its painful and makes me feel like a child in a not-good way. Seeing a character go over this and choose to allow the other character make decisions for themselves was beautiful and I’m grateful for this scene.

This care goes beyond food and is also revealed in Ernest’s relationship with his Daddy and with his friends. He has very clear, previously discussed, signs when he needs space due to his autism and/or gender dysphoria. His loved ones see these signs, understand that, and act accordingly. This seems simple but its not often I read a book where a Dominant grants the submissive space and its not made into a complicated mess to further the plot line. Instead it shows the love and care between characters, reveals some of their polyamorous connections and understandings, and is just damn real and sweet.

Foodie Fan

I was impressed by the fact that West did not shy away from food in their book, like many stories with fat characters do. In fact, the book is quite the foodie romance. It starts out with cupcakes and moves into dinners, tea service, and more. I could almost sing “These are a few of my favorite things” just with this theme of the book.

The only thing that could have made this over the top even better was recipes for those cupcakes and sandwiches and other treats available in the back of the book. I’d cook up a storm in my kitchen to celebrate this book.


Something that West does well in Their Troublesome Crush as well as in their short story, Trying Submission, is show BDSM, specifically the D/s dynamic as well as bondage, without making it overtly erotic.

West keys into something many people don’t always understand about this lifestyle – BDSM isn’t always about sex. You can have a very fulfulling BDSM experience or dynamic without including sex. This is revealed in West’s work without detracting at all from the romance or emotion in the story.
I’d love to see more of this discussed in BDSM romances.


Its so rare that I run into a story that truly shows polyamorous relationships in the variety that they can create. Often what I read is harems or reverse harems or close triads that all start with the main character finding love with all of them from the beginning. Their Troublesome Crush shows two characters, already in a polyamorous relationship as metamours for their shared partner. It also shows how their friends, ex lovers, etc interact with this relationship dynamic.
As a polyamorous person, I believe the characters and relationships were very believable and could see it mirrored in the polyam communities I’ve been part of. Its a complicated ballet that I think West executed perfectly in their writing.

Final Reader Thoughts

West includes a fantastic content warning at the beginning of the book as well as on their site page for Their Troublesome Crush. The following is just an additional bit of input for those wondering if this fantastic novel is right for your bookcase.

It’s not a deterrent from reading the book but Their Troublesome Crush did make me have to do some research. I’m not Jewish and I’m also not all that into showtunes. The story focuses on Pesach (Passover) and the main character, Ernest, is a big fan of show tunes (he’s even writing his own musical). So when there was a reference I didn’t understand, I’d pause my reading and do a little search about it online.

Let me emphasize that this research is not necessary to enjoy the book but I like to fully immerse myself in a story and that meant looking up words I didn’t understand and listening to songs I’d never heard before. This was actually a pretty cool experience and I don’t begrudge the book for it at all.

My Superhero: An EdenFantasys Toy Review

The Superhero Vibrating Cockring from EdenFantasys is a Wonder! This is the first cockring that not only I’ve enjoyed using but that Mr. Faust comfortably enjoyed as well. For that, its certainly a hero in my book.

I was clued into this Batman-esque sex toy by my EdenFantasys’ manager who knew that I, and you my readers, love kinky geekery. She said this was right up my alley, and she was right.

Unboxing Superhero Vibrating Cockring from EdenFantasys

The Makings of a Superhero

Created with body-safe silicone, this superhero is made to do no harm. It is hyperallergenic, latex-free, non-porous, and waterproof.

Smooth Black color with a face that changes colors including green, pink, and red.
Unstretched diameter: 1 3/4″
Max stretched diam.: 2 3/4″

The Superhero has 10 speeds and is rechargeable.

Pros and Cons


  • Fun Geeky Aesthetic
  • Rechargeable and long lasting
  • Good vibration strength for both of us
  • Comfortable fit


  • Positioning is not intuitive

The only downside to our experience was trying to position the vibrating body of the cockring so that we could both enjoy it during penetration. Essentially, I had a hard time getting it against my clit in just the right place for it to be enjoyable.


I was given the Superhero Vibrating Cockring free from EdenFantasys in exchange for a review. The review given is my honest opinion and experience. Links provided are affiliate links. That means if you purchase toys via these links I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you.

Bend Over Fan Girl

Content Notice: This piece of erotica is entirely fiction despite references to real events like Free Comic Book Day. Any similarities to real people or places are entirely accidental.
Both characters are of the age of consent despite pet names like “little girl” and neither are related despite the use of the term “Daddy.” Here “Daddy” is not related to the character’s gender but part of their Dominant/submissive roleplay. All actions described are meant to be understood as done with consent. Please enjoy

“I just love your blog.”
Raleigh looked up and forced a smile. It was rare when a guy recognized her from her blog and cam modeling work online but when it did, she tried not to be a nervous wreck. Being at her day job didn’t help. “Thanks,” she said, glancing at the customers milling about the comic books and games behind him. She hoped not too many would overhear the conversation. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of being a cam model, but there were kids in the store.
“I’m your biggest fan,” the guy went on. He was tall and decent looking though not Raleigh’s type. His Captain America shirt filled her field of vision as he moved closer to the display counter she was rearranging. “I was wondering -”
“I think you’re wrong there, chief,” a familiar voice interrupted from behind Raleigh. “I’m her biggest fan.”

Turning, Raleigh couldn’t hide her open mouthed surprise. “Canis! What are you doing here?”
Standing just at the end of the L shaped counter was a tall platinum blonde woman in leather pants and jacket looking ready for a rock concert, not a comics event despite the “Han Shot First” statement on her black t-shirt. “Well, I couldn’t miss free comic book day, now could I? I hear there’s a free Vampirella.” She gave her girlfriend a cocky grin before opening her arms.
Raleigh plunged into Canis’ hug and sighed. It had been a few weeks since they last saw each other. Despite loving that Canis was able to pursue her musical dreams, Raleigh hated being apart. “I missed you,” she murmured against the black leather.
“Take a break,” Canis said, a gleam in her dark eyes.
Raleigh looked across the main room to Eric, her business partner. He gave her a smile and waved towards the back storeroom as if shooing the couple off. Before she could excuse herself from the customer still watching them with a sullen look, Canis grabbed her hand and whispered in her ear, “Come on. I got a present for my girl.”

The way Canis said my girl made Raleigh weak in the knees. She nodded and led Canis towards the back of the store towards the door with an Employees Only sign. Shutting it behind her she moved past the office as employee bathroom and on to the larger, quieter stock room.
The room was dimly lit with fluorescent lights that needed new rods more than a month ago. Raleigh pushed some of the half empty boxes out of their way and looked around to see if there were any chairs. Before she could rethink going to the office, Canis moved behind her and ran her hands down Raleigh’s waist.

Bend Over Fan Girl
Star Wars Silicon Buttplug by Kinky Penguines (no affiliation)

“Doesn’t my girl want her present?”
Canis’ tone, a low almost growl, told Raleigh what her dominant lover had in mind. “Yes, Daddy,” she murmured softly.
One of Canis’ hands left Raleigh’s body, leaving a remnant of heat through the thin “Come to the Dark Side” tank top.
From her pocket, Canis pulled Raleigh’s present and held it out so she could see it.
Raleigh flushed as she eyed the black silicone butt plug. It was bigger than the beginner size she was used to. Canis turned it to show her that instead of a crystal base this one had the Alliance Starbird logo.
Thank you…” Raleigh whispered and went to take it from Canis’ hand. Her girlfriend closed her hand and held it away from her instead.

Masturbation Monday Week 244 Image by Floss Liddell and sponsorted by Hot Octopuss

“Bend over,” Canis ordered, her grin almost audible.
While Raleigh hesitated, she did as she was told. The hem of her pleated skirt brushed the back of her plump thighs as she bent. Canis’ free hand followed the hem and pushed the skirt up over Raleigh’s ass and settling it on her hip.
“Mmm hello there,” Canis murmured, running her palm over Raleigh’s R2D2 panties. “Planning on showing off what a good little fan girl you are today?”
While Raleigh had planned to take a few impromptu pics for her cam modeling account, she was hardly thinking of that right now. Instead her attention was twisted between how nervous she was about the size of that plug and how good it felt to have Canis touching her again after weeks apart.
Slowly, Canis pulled Raleigh’s panties down to reveal her luscious ass. Once over the tops of her thighs, Raleigh’s panties fell easily around her ankles, making her feel wonderfully vulnerable.
Raleigh focused on keeping calm as Canis moved around behind her. Despite taking soft, slow, deep breaths, she yelped when the cold drip of lube hit her ass hole.

“Hush now, little girl. Do you want your fan boys out there to hear you? Perhaps you’d like to come give them a show?” Canis’ slick, lube-covered finger ran over her tight opening. She knew she was working Raleigh up by appealing to her exhibitionism fetish. “Want them to see you bare and forced open? See what a good girl you are for me?”
Canis slid one finger inside Raleigh and watched as the red head trembled and took her inch by inch. Pulling it out she added more lube to press in two fingers this time, stretching her. “Relax sweetness. We don’t have much time before you have to get back out there.” Two fingers to the second knuckle before scissoring them ever so slightly. “Don’t want you walking funny because I had to ram your present in you too soon.”

Raleigh whimpered. “Daddy, please.”
“Please what?” Canis asked, her tone harsh but her expression that of wolfish glee.
“May I touch myself?” Raleigh spread her legs and bent forward a little more to show Canis just how needy she was.
“Is my little girl’s pussy wet?”
Raleigh nodded, her red ponytail bobbing.
“Spread it and show me.” Canis didn’t let up from stretching and stroking Raleigh’s ass as she watched.
Raleigh used two fingers to stroke her wet labia before spreading them wide, revealing every wet hole to her beloved.
“Mmm that’s a good girl.”

Canis pulled her fingers from Raleigh’s ass and took the butt plug from her pocket. She ran the silicone toy over Raleigh’s wet cunt, teasing her sensitive clit and needy hole. “Want it, baby?”
“Yes, Daddy,” Raleigh whimpered, rocking her hips back to try and coax the plug into her pussy.
“No no,” Canis chided and pulled the toy away. She coated it liberally with lube and ran the tip over Raleigh’s prepped anus. “Tell me you want it.”
“I want it, Daddy. Please, I want it.” Raleigh panted, aching to be filled.
Slowly, Canis pushed the plug into her little girl’s needy ass.
Raleigh whimpered, wiggled, and stamped her sneakers but her lover was insistent. Finally, a silent pop and the plug was in. Her anus closed over the plug, stoppered by the Alliance decal base.

“There, that wasn’t so bad,” Canis said, looking over her work.
Raleigh poured as she tried to adjust to the feeling. “For you, maybe.”
A loud smack filled the air and Raleigh’s ass cheek burned from the reprimand.
“Check yourself, little girl,” Daddy Canis said icily.
“Sorry, Daddy. Thank you.” Raleigh swallowed down any other bratty remarks she had.
Silently, Canis pulled her phone from her back pocket and shot a few photos of the wet scene before here. She directed Raleigh to look back over her shoulder so she could capture the wanton expression and red cheeks along with the lubed and filled ass and flush pussy. She sent these to Raleigh’s phone and directed the girl to take her panties the rest of the way off and hand them to her.

“Very pretty,” Canis said as she wiped a little lube off of Raleigh’s ass cheek with her panties. “Time to get back to work.” She pocketed the panties and pulled the door open.
Brushing her skirt back over her ass, Raleigh straightened and turned. She could feel the thick, heavy presence of the plug in her ass as she moved. “Oh no, Canis…I can’t leave this in…” Her voice faltered as her dominant gave her a cold glance.
After a moment, Canis smirked. “Take it out of it gets to be too much but if you’re a good girl for me and keep it in, I’ll make sure it’s not the only wet hole that’s filled tonight.”
With that, Canis turned and left, letting Raleigh decide her own fate.

Want More?

Check out more of my Kinky Geeky Smut by Clicking Here.

Check out the other works of Masturbation Monday and Fantasy Smut Friday.

Sex Positions Quote

I was quoted on Fatherly in an article about Best Sex Positions for older people. I saw the request for quotes in HARO (help a reporter out) and thought it would be a good follow up after my blog post about best sex positions for fat people.

Of course my full quote I emailed wasn’t used so I thought I would share here:

I think that as we get older we are more aware of our body’s limitations. As someone who not only has chronic hip pain but also has a partner with joint pain, we have had many experiences of working around these situations as well as those of fatigue, fibromyalgia, and more with other partners.
The best thing we recommend is no matter the position – make sure you have open communication with your partner about what feels good, what doesn’t, and be open to switching things up even in the middle of sex. Experimenting not only with positions but kinds of sex can really help.
Doggy style really helps when my hip pain flairs up but isn’t necessarily great for someone with knee problems.
Consider investing in a sex pillow or incline pillow to help with support during sex.
Mutual masturbation is a fabulous way to enjoy sex with a partner when one or more are having any sort of fatigue or pain problems. This way, you body get off, know what feels good, can turn each other on with a show, and can concentrate on connecting without pressure physically or mentally. Next month
(May) is Masturbation Month, btw, so perhaps this method will help celebrate.

It was really awesome being quoted alongside Kayla Lords, a sex blogger I look up to.

May Day

It’s the First of May! Not only is this day traditionally celebrated as a date connected to fairies, magic, and spring celebration but it is also the start of Masturbation Month and the 31 Day SexGeek Challenge! I have a feeling May is gonna be a great month!

How to get started celebrating!

Read my article on The Big Fling about the history of Masturbation Month and why and how you should celebrate!

Grab a copy of my erotic short story collection, Nerdy Dirty and Curvy, now Free with Kindle Unlimited!

And last but not least join me for 31 Day SexGeek Challenge. Today’s prompt is the last sexy picture you took! Here is mine:

May Day