#FatSmutFriday Fat Vampires

Happy #FatSmutFriday! Today we’re talking vampires. These immortal/undead creatures have been villains and sex symbols for years and yet we see so few fat ones. So I’m dedicating this Halloween-season’s Fat Smut Friday to Fat Vampires.

I admit now that I did not come up with this idea on my own. I was perusing Twitter and saw someone ask where all the fat vamps are (see my quote response here).
This opened a can of worms, of course. We can’t possibly portray more fat people in media for REASONS says the comments section. The reasons for skinny vampires were laughable. Included in the excuses were biology, the low calorie content of blood, and historical wasting sickness as well as the general fat hate.
The OP pointed out several times – even if biology and fat-free blood were a factor, what about fat people that were turned into vampires. Surely it would take time for them to lose weight due to the change in their diet unless we’re talking sparkling, magical vampires whose bites make you immediately the public’s view of pretty. This never really got answered.

Fact is, vampires are fictional unless we’re talking about the vampyre subculture in which case – there are plenty of fat vampyres in the world (I’ve met a few myself – wanna learn more, check out this book and this book).
Being fictional, creators can make vampires look however the fuck they want – including fat.

I did some searching – came across quite a bit of fat hate so be careful – and found this was not an uncommon question. Fat vampires turns out to be a niche that isn’t being met in movies, books, or other media.
While there are stories that meet the criteria out there, they haven’t reached the popularity their counterparts with skinny vamps are. The best way to help with that is to read/watch/buy what is out there AND create more.

I am grateful that there are creators out there writing, filming, and drawing fat vampires. For that reason, I did a shout out and compiled a list. Granted not all of the vampires listed are particularly sexy or nice but they are fat and immortal/undead, which was the only two criteria.

Fat Vampires

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Pearl – Blade 1998
By far the most popular fat vampire out there is Pearl. This character is problematic but I wanted to get him out of the way. This supporting antagonist is a vampire archivist and it is never clarified if he is a pure blood or human that was turned into a vampire. Fans speculate he not only is a pure blood but is an ancient – explaining his knowledge of the language used in the film. If this is the case, it certainly knocks out the theory that vampires can’t get fat on blood.
The director of the film was apparently questioned about Pearl’s size and explained “the cause of Pearl’s obese size was the creature gaining a cannibalistic lust for infants and children as he loves to eat their hearts.” I’d like to add here that heart is a lean meat, just for context.
NOTE: Pearl is a classic case of a villain’s weight being part of their outward example of villainy and cowardice – not a cliche I’d like to see in future vampire stories with fat characters.

Morgan Kendrick by Jess
Jess’ whole brand is sexy fat vampire and I ADORE her for it! Seriously…dayum.
Her character Morgan is no different. Such yummy artwork and I can’t wait to see more of her!
Check out her art twitter for more! @JKCanaan

Josephine Berendt of Black, Red, and Gold by Catherine Winters
When I did my Fat Vamps shoutout on twitther, Catherine was more than happy to lend a hand –
“I have a vampire trilogy featuring a fat main character who becomes a vampire. http://writingwinters.com/books will get you all the volumes, plus a prequel!”
Black, Red, and Gold promise to be bloody sexy page turners!
Amid worry for Max Spencer, fighting her love for Grant Black, and the pomp and circumstance of an Imperial covenmistress ceremony, Josephine has to unravel the opposition’s plans and keep her coven safe — all while watching her own back and working to discover the limits of her power.
YUM!

Reginald Baskin – Fat Vampire series by Johnny B. Truant
I haven’t read it so I can’t give an opinion. Does not contain any content warnings that I’ve found but the blurb says that Reginald is often mocked. It does not seem to be “own voices.” I recommend reading the reviews before buying.
…as Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire (too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead), he discovers rare powers in himself that few vampires have … and just in time, because the Vampire Council wants him destroyed as an inferior representative of their race.
Perfect for fans of Rick Gualtieri’s Tome of Bill series or Drew Hayes’ Fred the Vampire Accountant series, Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife’s lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

Doug Lee – Fat Vampire by Adam Rex
I haven’t read it so I can’t give an opinion. I recommend reading the reviews before buying.
From School Library Journal
Grade 10 Up Unlike most vampires who are drop-dead gorgeous, sexy, and irresistible, Doug is the exact opposite. Overweight, unpopular, and dorky, he seals his fate by being in the wrong place at the wrong time and as a result was attacked by a starving, newly made vampire. Now he must spend the rest of his immortal life as an unattractive 15-year-old, feeding off cows to satisfy his need for blood. With the support of some local vampire guardians and his friend Jay, the teen must now learn how to live life as a vampire. If events aren’t complicated enough, he falls for the new girl at school, and has the star of the TV show Vampire Hunters hot on his trail, trying to expose him to the world. Rex’s story falls flat. The back-and-forth narration between Doug and Sejal is confusing and slows down the plot. There are some promising moments, funny scenes, and intriguing themes that unfortunately just don’t pan out.
Donna Rosenblum, Floral Park Memorial High School, NY

Support Fat Vampire Creators

When I did a shout out on Twitter asking for fat vampire rep, I did get a few creators who haven’t published or released their vamp babies yet.

Casual Monsters by Ami Mercury

Ami Mercury @amimercury has an awesome comic in the works called Casual Monsters.
“My main character is Audrey. She’s a graphic designer who just broke up with her boyfriend and decided to take a weekend vacation in the mountains to collect her thoughts. Just outside of town her car breaks down, and she has no cell service. Luckily there’s an all-night garage just up ahead. This is where she meets the garage owner, Rob, our unlikely vampire character. He fixes her car and the two become friends. Through a series of plot points eventually she figures out that he’s a vampire. Now, for vampires in this setting, animal blood makes up the majority of their diet, but it’s encouraged that they get a human donor. A person who consents to letting their vampire friend drink their blood on occasion. Rob needs a donor, and Audrey needs a new place to live after breaking things off with her boyfriend. Rob offers her the spare apartment on his property in exchange for being his donor. From there romantic-comedy sitcom shenanigans ensue.
But basically in my story, I treat vampirism as more like a “condition.” Yeah they’re still immortal, and they’re still dead, or “undead” as it were; but the shape-shifting and mind control, etc is not inherent to being a vampire. They are sensitive to sunlight, but they won’t immediately burst into flames/dust. They’ll just get really bad sunburns. They do require blood to “live,” but that doesn’t mean they can’t eat other foods. I actually plan on having other creatures in this story, as well: werewolves, sasquatch, mummies, etc. Much like the vampires their existence is more like a condition than anything supernatural. Honestly they kind of live normal lives, otherwise, and mostly go completely unnoticed by humans.”
YALL! I’m really damn excited about this one – you bet your cute asses I’ll be reading this comic and reviewing with pleasure!

Bodie @geroakoya says he is working on some fat vamp erotica that he is now inspired to get back to:
“I started writing an erotic short story about a fat vampire once! I never did anything with it but every so often I get really excited about the possibility of picking it back up again.
The fat vampire’s name was Chauncy Lockhart, which is maybe my favorite name of any character I’ve ever written”

Ink York @inkayork author of soft supernatural being has some fat vampires about ready for our hot lil hands!
“I have a fat girl vampire MC in my novella, Lotus (with my editor rn) & a fat girl vampire MC in my WIP, No Good Comes.”

Call for Fat Vampires

As I said, this is certainly a niche that could use some more reps. I would love to see and read more fat vamp characters. Some other requests that I saw and definitely agree with:

  • Fat Polyamorous Vamps
  • Fat Vampires of Color
  • Fat LGBTQ+ Vampires especially NonBinary, Trans, etc.

Do You Have a Fat Vampire Character?

Comment below your character or your favorite that isn’t listed. Not only do I want to see them but I’ll list them on twitter with some shout outs so definitely share links.

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