Sex Positions Quote

I was quoted on Fatherly in an article about Best Sex Positions for older people. I saw the request for quotes in HARO (help a reporter out) and thought it would be a good follow up after my blog post about best sex positions for fat people.

Of course my full quote I emailed wasn’t used so I thought I would share here:

I think that as we get older we are more aware of our body’s limitations. As someone who not only has chronic hip pain but also has a partner with joint pain, we have had many experiences of working around these situations as well as those of fatigue, fibromyalgia, and more with other partners.
The best thing we recommend is no matter the position – make sure you have open communication with your partner about what feels good, what doesn’t, and be open to switching things up even in the middle of sex. Experimenting not only with positions but kinds of sex can really help.
Doggy style really helps when my hip pain flairs up but isn’t necessarily great for someone with knee problems.
Consider investing in a sex pillow or incline pillow to help with support during sex.
Mutual masturbation is a fabulous way to enjoy sex with a partner when one or more are having any sort of fatigue or pain problems. This way, you body get off, know what feels good, can turn each other on with a show, and can concentrate on connecting without pressure physically or mentally. Next month
(May) is Masturbation Month, btw, so perhaps this method will help celebrate.

It was really awesome being quoted alongside Kayla Lords, a sex blogger I look up to.

How Writing Smut Helps My Sex Life

Since I started writing smut and romantic erotica, my sex life has had a major boost. Before becoming a mom, Mr. Faust and I had a very adventurous sex life but all that died down quite a bit once we became parents. When I began reading more erotica, reading it aloud to Mr. Faust, and writing it myself – my libido got a boost, Mr. Faust enjoyed the audio foreplay of me reading my work to him, and I also received the added aid of connecting with like minded kinksters online to inspire us both.

Posy Churchgate wrote: Just read your piece ‘Writing for a better sex life’ – I dont use FB for my Posy persona, so this is the comment I wanted to leave x
~This was a great piece! As a writer of erotic fiction myself (over on my blog) I can attest to it unlocking my libido and also to it enhancing my sex life.
~I was too shy to put some of my desires into words, now my partner has read my stories he knows what goes on in my twisted little mind and can act on that if he chooses. Win, win!

Writing Smut for a Better Sex Life

Enjoy this article I wrote for The Big Fling about how writing smut can help your sex life too!

Write for Mercury's Sake!

It is that time again – Mercury in Retrograde! For many this time means communication disorganization, technology failures, and grumpy goblins possessing normally happy and chipper people.
Books and websites and blogs on astrology and magic often notes that this is a time to avoid new endeavors, important paperwork, and communication and technology in general. If Mercury in Retrograde was a tarot card I’d name it The Hermit in reverse – forced solitude and the crotchety bastard next door.

Of course during this time period, I got the urge to do everything I was advised against! I don’t know if this is because I love Mercury’s trickster side or if its because of my ornery Sagittarian nature. So, instead of avoiding communication and technology, I cling to it. I created a website, work on my social media accounts, call my mom long distance, and sit on my stack of pillows, cradling my laptop against my pregnant belly and WRITE!

Today I spent the morning tending my herb garden, sunbathing while making notes in one of my aromatherapy books and journaling. I texted and called Damon, my mom, and my sister in law over nonsense things like “remember to buy sponges” and “how goes the house cleaning?” Then I ate a quart of strawberries and wrote 2000 words on the book I’m currently working on. I pulled out one of my favorite writing inspirations – SARK’s Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper and read for an hour to avoid cleaning house. Between chapters I grabbed some water, cleaned up a little, lit a lavender candle, then grabbed my laptop to write yet another book idea up along with some notes. After exhausting that idea, and procrastinating further on cleaning, I returned to SARK’s book. Here I read a wonderful note about writing is part creating words to write and part moving the tools (actual writing). SARK said something about a pen with wings and this triggered an idea…

Often Mercury or Hermes is depicted with or just as the symbol of a staff with wings – the caduceus. What if Mercury’s symbol for me was not the medical staff but the tool of communication – a pen with wings!
So I doodled in my journal a bit, drawing the pen my midwife gave me in my birth center swag bag, which is a wonderful peaceful and communicative blue and added some wings to it. I drew this, of course, with the pen that I was depicting.

As I drew, and breathed in the lovely aromatherapy of my lavender candle and listened to the cranes bicker outside my window, I wondered what Mercury would think of me during this crazy time of retrograde. would he think I’m too bold and is preparing some crazy computer crash or miscommunication to knock me off my course? Or does he like my brash nature and grin down at me from his winged heights as I type away on this blog post that is already too long to be allowed. (I hope it is the latter)

Another thing SARK says in her book is that writing is a Daring process. It is preposterous that we put our words out there with the audacious idea that someone might actually want to read them!
What is mischievous Mercury but DARING! He is the god of thieves and tricksters! He dares to fly when others walk or crawl. He dares to be the message bearer even when the message doesn’t want to be heard! So perhaps, retrograde is a great time to dare a little with communication…

I think about how daring I must be to write a book…much less a book about a topic on which other books have already been written! I think about what my lil baby in my womb might think and even ask “Lil Caleb, is your mommy crazy to be writing?” I wonder what he will think about his paper and ink sibling when he emerges into this wild world. I wonder what he will think of Mercury in Retrograde; if he will be a grumpy goblin or daring the insanity like his momma. I think about how daring it is to write about writing here on this blog post. Little voices ask “what if you never publish?” or “what if they hate your book?” and here I’m writing about this book as if it is set in stone that it will be created. I dare to dream that it is already in my hands, created and published and being read my hundreds.

I can’t help but smile a little when I write and I light my candles and send up a little prayer to the god of communication, thieves, business, and trickery. Ease my self-doubts about writing. Let me be bold and brash like you and wave my freak flag merrily as I send my words out to the world. Give me many many winged pens that I may move my tools without care of criticism. May I keep my grin even when others are grumpy. Give me aid as I risk the stars and reach forward to communicate. So may it be.